With all the candy sales and coupons out there I am picking up lots of candy for nothing!  Problem- I always know where the secret stash is!

I follow the rules posted below…

1. If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.

2. If you drink a diet soda with candy, they cancel each other out.

3. When eating with someone else, calories don’t count if you both eat the same amount.

4. Foods used for medicinal purposes have no calories. This includes any chocolate used for energy, Sara Lee cheesecake (eaten whole), and Haagen-Dazs ice cream.

5. Movie-related foods are much lower in calories simply because they are a part of the entertainment experience and not part of one’s personal fuel. This includes (but is not limited to) Milk Duds, popcorn with butter, Junior Mints, Snickers, and Gummi Bears.

6. Cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breakage causes calorie leakage.

7. If you eat the food off your child’s plate, it doesn’t count.

8. If you eat standing up, the calories all go to your feet and get walked off.

9. Food eaten at Christmas parties has 0 calories, courtesy of Santa.

10. STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backward.

Thanks to Brain Candy Jokes

See Rule #2

Have a calorie free day!